Considering the word “Avid” and all the passion that is inherent in the things people are avid for makes me feel lost and reluctant. The very opposite of the word.
I can’t think of anything I am avid for. This has been plaguing my mind for a couple of weeks. I don’t have a hobby or any activity that I do that I just love. My husband has a softball league and a car hobby. I am a mom to a special needs baby and that has consumed my life and my identity.
I want to live a life that I can be avid for! I want to have “great enthusiasm for or interest in” life! (Dictionary.com def). I would love to be an avid kayak-er, but I don’t have a kayak yet and can’t afford to rent one regularly right now. I want to learn to surf, but this summer I have to focus on learning to swim first. Why must I have an interest in expensive water activities? How can I be avid for life on a budget?
I was reminded this week how much I love to sing. I grew up in choirs and theatre. Performing used to be something I was avid about. So, I took a first step. That’s what we must all do: take one step forward. One step at a time to live life avidly.
I found some places around town that have open mics throughout the week. I will likely watch for weeks before I muster up the confidence to get back on stage, but I want to rediscover my love for song and performance. I need to! I need something that gives my mom-brain a break and reminds me of who I am. I am a mom, yes, and I love that. But, I was other things before motherhood blessed me and those things remain in me. Somewhere.
I believe that allowing myself to have a hobby, and to get avid about that hobby, will open me up to be more avid for motherhood and so many other parts of life.
It’ll take time, but I want to live life and live it with the passion that avidness contains.
What are you avid for? Or, what interest do you have that could get you there?